LancasterOnline.com:News:Arrest in assault of Amish woman in home

QUOTE(BeingReal @ Apr 29 2008, 10:23 PM)

There are plenty of instances in the news today that indicate women are equally capable of harming a child or an adult. Look at the female teachers in Florida who preyed upon young boys/teens. Look at the woman harrassing Michael Jordan over a child she claims is his -- but two paternity tests have proven that's not the case....she's left him threatening voicemails because she's so off the wall. Then there's the woman who killed the pregnant woman to steal her child (recently found guilty, thank God). There was a woman in NJ (I think) who swung her infant child at her boyfriend like a bat during an argument and admitted doing it (the child had a cracked skull but I think recovered). My point is not to trash women but rather to note that, quite honestly, I don't think your child should let his/her guard down with anyone unfamiliar -- so don't tell them that seeking help from women is okay and end up creating a false sense of security. Just my two cents, so take it for what it's worth.

I don't want anyone to think that I was implying women aren't capable of harming children. Of course you need to teach your children to always keep their guard up but teaching them not to talk to strangers is idiotic, IMO. Think about when you go into the grocery store with your young child and the clerk tries to have a conversation with the little one; most parents tell the child to say hello or tell the lady your name or what ever she asks. Then you when you have a conversation with you child about "strangers" you say never talk to them. You have just confused the kid.
If your child does get lost and needs help, the statistics just don't lie. Men are much more likely to harm your child than women.

QUOTE(Hope @ Apr 29 2008, 03:58 PM)

I understand what you guys are saying but realistically and statistically, how often are the roles reversed? When was the last time you heard of a woman breaking into the home of a man to attack him?

There is a book called The Gift of Fear, written by Gavin DeBecker. In the book, one thing he tells people is that they shouldn't teach their children not to talk to strangers. You and your children talk to strangers everyday. What he does say though is to teach your child that if he/she is lost, find a woman to help them. Don't take time to look for a policeman or security, find a woman because the statistics prove women are far less likely to harm a child or anyone for that matter.

No, no, no; don't bring statistics into it or you are profiling. Statistically and historically who was it that bombed the towers? Not 86 year old grandmothers, yet they are treated the same as an Iraqi when traveling.
Statistically who more often ends up incarcerated? Can't go there!

Hope, I like the book you mentioned.

You're right--the "don't talk to strangers" rule is confusing. Kids can be so literal. I used to tell my kids it was OK to talk to "unknown" people if I talked to them first or said it was OK for my kids to talk to them. We also discussed that it was OK to seem "rude" and just walk or run away if someone talking to them outside my presence made them uncomfortable. (Obviously, this rule didn't apply to teachers but it did apply to people at school whom they didn't officially know.) Then they were to tell me what had happened so I could look into it or explain to the person why my child acted the way he/she did. After a while, though, they got a good sense of what was appropriate and what might be questionable or dangerous when dealing with "strangers".

I also told them to look for someone who looked like a nice mommy or a nice nana if they were ever lost...beats them heading for a weird-looking guy in a raincoat, anyway... But, then again, we have a relative who, as a toddler, was almost pulled out of a store by a woman. What can you do?

QUOTE(grieker @ Apr 30 2008, 09:26 AM)

No, no, no; don't bring statistics into it or you are profiling. Statistically and historically who was it that bombed the towers? Not 86 year old grandmothers, yet they are treated the same as an Iraqi when traveling.
Statistically who more often ends up incarcerated? Can't go there!

And Profilin` is wrong

QUOTE(LicenseForMayhem @ Apr 30 2008, 09:33 AM)

Hope, I like the book you mentioned.

You're right--the "don't talk to strangers" rule is confusing. Kids can be so literal. I used to tell my kids it was OK to talk to "unknown" people if I talked to them first or said it was OK for my kids to talk to them. We also discussed that it was OK to seem "rude" and just walk or run away if someone talking to them outside my presence made them uncomfortable. (Obviously, this rule didn't apply to teachers but it did apply to people at school whom they didn't officially know.) Then they were to tell me what had happened so I could look into it or explain to the person why my child acted the way he/she did. After a while, though, they got a good sense of what was appropriate and what might be questionable or dangerous when dealing with "strangers".

I also told them to look for someone who looked like a nice mommy or a nice nana if they were ever lost...beats them heading for a weird-looking guy in a raincoat, anyway... But, then again, we have a relative who, as a toddler, was almost pulled out of a store by a woman. What can you do?

You can't protect your child from every scenario, if you could you wouldn't have to teach them anything right? What you can do is put the odds in their favor as much as possible.

I'm with you, LMF, I have two daughters and I taught them that their bodies belong to them, period. I even told them that if they are uncomfortable kissing their relatives hello or goodbye that they didn't need to do that.

I know someone who got called to school because her son refused to get on the school bus. It turned out that the regular driver was ill and they had a replacement driver. My friend's son didn't know the replacement and refused to go with him. The school officials were ticked off because they had to wait at the school with the boy but the mom was very proud of him!

QUOTE(Hope @ Apr 30 2008, 10:05 AM)

I know someone who got called to school because her son refused to get on the school bus. It turned out that the regular driver was ill and they had a replacement driver. My friend's son didn't know the replacement and refused to go with him. The school officials were ticked off because they had to wait at the school with the boy but the mom was very proud of him!

That sounds like something that happened to us. In second grade, my son got mixed up after attending a program in an unfamiliar school and missed the bus he was to take. The principal of that school, who's a friend of my mother-in-law's, said she was going to the school near us for a meeting and that she would drop him off at our house on the way. My son refused to ride with this lady because he didn't personally know her--they called and asked me either to talk him into riding with the principal or pick him up. I picked him up and praised him for doing what made sense to him in the situation.