PASS THE WORD

Sunday News

Published: Jun 08, 2008
00:08 EST

Lancaster

By STAFF

Holy cow! About 130 readers submitted clever captions for last month's "Pass the Word" photo of heifers gathered near a trash fire.

We did receive submissions with common themes; so, to avoid redundancy, we list multiple names with some of the captions published today.

This month's photo, shot by Sunday News photographer Jeff Ruppenthal, shows a katydid, an insect master of camouflage!

Guidelines:
Send an original, amusing caption for the katydid to LIVING@LNPNEWS.COM.

Please put this in the subject line of your e-mail: "Pass the Word" [Insert your last name].

You are also welcome to send a caption to us via the U.S. Postal Service: "Pass the Word" Living, Sunday News, P.O. Box 1328, Lancaster, PA 17608-1328.

We must receive your submission no later than noon Thursday, June 12.

Be sure to include your full name and town of residence (as well as a daytime telephone number, which will not be published).

We reserve the right to edit your work

Share your wit! Send us those punchy captions!


 "Anybody bring the marshmallows?

— Michael G. Chernich, Lititz; Allyson and Amy Sue Deihl, Willow Street; Becky, Pat and Sammie Garvey, Lancaster; Jake Hoover, Lancaster; Annette Illes, New Holland; Sally Jackson, Quarryville; Tammy Jones, Lititz; Peggy Koelsch, Lititz; Erwin Klein, Williston Park, N.Y.; Katharine M. Leader, Lancaster; Barbara Long, Quarryville; Gurley M. Manners, Lancaster; Phyllis I. Martin, Lititz; Barbara Miller, Conestoga; Jeffrey Orr, Lancaster; Nancy Pitts, Manheim; Jane Rhoads, Ephrata; Beth Runk, Lititz; Lucinda Shade, Landisville; Andie Sheaffer, Lancaster; Carl N. Shull, Elizabethtown; Sandra J. Sills, Lancaster; Adele Stauffer, Ephrata; Brenda Stephan, New Holland; and Keith Yoder, Leola

"Hey, did you bring the stuff for s'mores?!"

— Joan Alexander, New Providence; Justin Bradley, age 8, Lititz; Sylvia Hernley, Elizabethtown; Don Stoltz, Lititz; Dave Thornton, Ephrata; and Angela Wolf, age 12, Lancaster

"That's an awfully big fire. Are you sure they are just going to barbecue chicken?"

— Michael R. Getz, Marietta; Debby Joy, Quarryville; Jami S. Karr, New Holland; Nick Myers, Lancaster; Donna L. Savage, Lancaster; Becky Schwartz, Lititz; Elizabeth Willis, Drumore; and Michelle Wise, Lancaster

"Oh, no! They burned the chicken!"

— Joyce Parker, Willow Street

As the fire began to consume their food, the cows realized that trying to burn the slaughter shed might not have been the greatest idea.

— Josh Foley, Quarryville

"Don't ask us what happened."

— Ruth Gamber, Lancaster

"It looks like Mrs. O'Leary's cow did it again."

— Nancy Hillard, New Holland

"Keep your places in line, girls. There are always good buys at these fire sales."

— Virginia Joline, Lancaster

Mooooning

— Carolyn Willitts, Lancaster

"Sure wish Elsie would've let us read her diary before burning it."

— Jeanne Muehleisen Klein, Williston Park, N.Y.

"Do you know what burns me up?"

"What?"

"A flame about that high!"

 "Ha ha ha."

— James L. Keefer, Elizabethtown

"There goes our Playcow of the Month centerfold collection."

— Michael Rhoades, New Holland

"Did you hear about Clara Belle?"

— Robert E. Rhoads, Ephrata

The tails have it!

— Patricia L. Sourbeer, Pequea

"Wow! A burning bush! Does this make us sacred cows?"

— Joy O'Shea, Lancaster

"The party's getting a glow on."

— Betty H. Shirk, Lancaster

"I love eating at Flamy Maple Smorgasbord."

— Kendall Bryant Stauffer, Stevens

"OK, everyone. We'd better moooooove away from the fire."

— Becca Woomer, age 12, Lancaster

"Farmer." It's what's for dinner!

— Tamara Weeks, Leola

Each member of the Wnek family, of Manheim, submitted a caption. For this week only, we are publishing a "family package":

"I know it's wrong, but I have a serious craving for a flame-broiled hamburger." — Mike Wnek

"Can someone please pass me another marshmallow?" — Krystal Wnek

"Oops! There goes Bill." — Sophia, age 10

"Hey, farmer, I'm toasted here. Can I have a chair?" — Delaney, age 7

"Hey, farmer, can I have a stick? Because I want a hot dog. Go get the pigs!" — Jillian, age 5


And there's more!
Here are some more captions submitted by Sunday News readers. (Although many sent multiple options, we are only posting one caption per contributor.)

"It looks like a cookout. I hope it's not hamburgers!"

— Edith Brown, Akron

"Have you HERD any news lately?"

— Thelma J. Williams, Columbia

"What's cooking?

— Susan Dolla, Denver

"Let's get out of here before we're part of this barbecue!"

— Barbara A. Fasnacht, Denver

"The six of us are having facials!"

— Thelma K. Myers, East Petersburg

"Hey, girls, if you think this burning trash is hot, check out the bull behind us."

— Janet Nauman, Elizabethtown

"All together now: One, two, three ... blow!"

— Roy and Terri Deamer, Ephrata

"I hope somebody brought the hot dogs!"

— Brenda Fetter, Ephrata

"Did you girls hear what happened to Bessie?"

— John Groff, Ephrata

"Udderly awesome"

— Joannie Kachel, Ephrata

"Now, you guys know what Moo-ma said would happen if we play with fire before we go to bed."

— Mary Etta Lapp, Ephrata

"Quick! Mooove over for the Dalmatians; they are on their way. I called 911."

— Sharon L. Almond, Lancaster

"Holy cow! What a smell! Let's get a mooove on!"

— Linda Bloom, Lancaster

"Elsie, I told you girls that you are not to play with fire."

— Charles K. Booda Jr., Lancaster

"There's no time to wallow in the mire; so come on, baby, light my fire."

— Valerie H. Cifuni, Lancaster

"Hope we're not the main course."

— Norma Draper, Lancaster

"How come we were invited this this barbecue?"

— Anne E. Dunlap, Lancaster

"What else is there to do?"

— Don Ehrhart, Lancaster

"That's udderly ridiculous, Sally. If we moooved the fire closer to the cornfield, we still couldn't make popcorn."

— William Heuyard, Lancaster

"Man, that chili's hot!"

— Jean Kinyon, Lancaster

"I'll tell you right now, Frank, I'm a little uneasy about attending this barbecue."

— Ernie Kiser, Lancaster

"Moo-ve over!"

— E. Martin Kuhn, Lancaster

"Don't they take reservations here?"

— Phyllis Lazarus, Lancaster

"Next time, I'm ordering from the menu."

— Gail Lombardo, Lancaster

"Let's get out of here. Looks like they're having a barbecue."

— Gladys S. McFalls, Lancaster

"OK, guys. Next stop is the barn for supper!"

— Shirlee Mershon, Lancaster

Got milk?

— Caroline Nesteruk, Lancaster

"Ever since Comcast has taken away the country music channel, our entertainment center has gone up in smoke."

— Don Ostertag, Lancaster

"Are you sure this is guaranteed to [help us] lose weight?"

— Eileen Reimel, Lancaster

"We're supposed to stay here and keep an eye on it. OK. Then what?"

— Lester Howard Rhoads, Lancaster

"How do you like your human? Moo-dium-well?"

— Marc Rohrer, Lancaster

"Hello, Mudder! Hello, Fodder!"

— Phyllis Strittmater, Lancaster

"Look at what's barbecuing over here, cows."

— Phuong Tien, Lancaster

"OK, who brought the weenies?"

— Cathleen Webb, Lancaster

"Bessie, ya like your steak rare or well-done?"

— Marian Brubaker, Landisville

"Holy cow! That is utterly ridiculous."

— Joan Heisey, Landisville

"Mooove over. I was first in this cafeteria line."

— Virginia Joerger, Landisville

"There goes our lunch."

— Martha E. Clark, Leola

Burning trash is a public moosance!

— Donald K. Steller, Leola

"What's so amoosing about trash burning?"

— Mark A. Steller, Leola

"Ladies, I said EAT the grass, not smoke it! Now look! You've gone and started a fire."

— Keeta Kay Cole, Lititz

"Don't have a cow. We are not having hot dogs until we have kids."

— Bob Hill, Lititz

"This is one hot mooovie."

— Jeff Martin, Lititz

"What kind of barbecue are they having?"

— Sally Sue Saylor, Lititz

"Sure, I'll miss Al. But every once in a while I really enjoy a good burger."

— Todd Trout, Lititz

"Man! This is hot stuff."

— Joann Garvin, Manheim

"Girls, it's only a trash fire, not hamburgers."

— Marie S. Rhoads, Manheim

"So, does anyone know who invited us to this barbecue? And where's the food, anyway?"

— Carrie Palmer, Maytown

"Hey, gals, let's blow this scene and go shopping. I'm sick and tired of these black-and-white threads. Always black-and-white! We need some color. Whattaya say?!"

— Harriet Neil, Millersville

"I heard curiosity killed the cat. I wonder if that applies to cows."

— Janet Martin, Morgantown

"Anyone for roast pig?"

— Deborah Devine, Mountville

"Yum, roasted corn."

— Holly Mele, Mountville

Bovine barbecue

— Daniel Rutledge, Mountville

"If we all turn around, I think we could put out that fire."

— Charles B. Adams, New Holland

"Girls, we are Dumpster diving. Who turned on the heat?"

— Rose Cebular, New Holland

"Girls, you will never believe what I just heard."

— Thelma Etter, New Holland

"Holy cow! They burned our dinner again. It's udderly disgusting."

— Lynn Greenlee, New Holland

"Where's the catsup, Bessy? 'Man in a Box' always takes better with catsup!"

— Lynne Trout, Paradise

"Bessie, did you bring the hot dogs?"

— Bernice Metzler, Quarryville

Mooovin' on up

— Betty L. Schlott, Reading

"All right, gang, it's time now to warm our other sides ... All together now: One, two, three, turn!"

— Richard Paul Falstick, Smoketown

Don't burn the burgers

— Doris E. Enck, Stevens

"Yeah, right! Global warming is udderly despicable!"

— Ed Spewak, Stevens

"Are you rare, medium or well-done?"

— Roy Weik, Stevens

"I don't know about you, but I'm getting out of here. Looks as if they are planning a beef barbecue and I don't want to be the 'honored guest.' "

— Nancy Rintz, Strasburg

"How udderly delightful. It's FRIED chicken!

— David Sunden, Willow Street

"Turn around and we are all oxtail soup!"

— Barbara Reed, Wilmington, Del.