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This week I have a new take on an icon of American cuisine — the Grand Slam breakfast at America's 24-hour ham 'n' eggs diner, Denny's, with 1,500 locations coast to coast. And by "take," I mean takeout. Breakfast 2Go.
Denny's has concocted a breakthrough packaging system that lets the sit-down diner fight fair and square with the drive-thru joints, the home of takeout. It's called the Denny's Dome, and it promises to keep the bacon crisp, the pancakes fluffy and the eggs moist and toasty for up to 30 minutes.
And now, in the spirit of election season, Denny's lets you pick four Grand Slam candidates from a menu of 10 classic eye-openers. It's called the "Build Your Own Grand Slam" deal.
Empowered by my freedom of choice … here's my Grand Slam blueprint: two scrambled eggs, bacon, hash-brown potatoes and pancakes. (I'll leave the English muffin, oatmeal, biscuit, toast, sausage links and creamy grits for other visits.)
Total calories: 950. Fat grams: 24. Dietary fiber: 3 grams. Carbs: 54 grams. Manufacturer's suggested retail price: $5.99. Your mileage may vary.
During the past dozen years, I've reviewed 600 fast-food delicacies in this column. Most times, I didn't know what to expect when I took that first bite. That's not the case this week, with the Grand Slam. Who doesn't love the bases-loaded four-bagger? It's been around since 1977, and it's still the best-selling thing on the Denny's menu.
The big news is the new packaging. Denny's is counting on this unique and exclusive packaging system to battle the drive-thru joints, which have turned breakfast in a bag into an art form — fast, simple and cheap.
Previously, Denny's was a commitment. You had to sit down, wait for a server, eat with industrial-strength silverware and then, the most painful part, leave a tip. If you did order a Grand Slam to go, you got your breakfast in a wretchedly flimsy white plastic box that never stayed shut, allowing your food to get cold and clammy. Even worse, everything bumped into each other. No matter what you ordered, it looked like chop suey by the time you got to work. The pancake syrup dribbled into your eggs, and the bacon was as limp as a busboy's washrag.
The Denny's Dome takes care of that. This packaging is a technological wonder. Several years ago, McDonald's came out with special packaging for its McDLT. The burger was supposed to stay warm while the lettuce and tomato remained cool. The packaging was almost as big a flop as the burger.The Denny's Dome is ingenious and positively revolutionary. Something actually works around here! I took a test-drive, and a half-hour later, my Grand Slam was still incredibly, edibly warm.
The Dome is a tri-level operation. The base is the main compartment, where the main entrée of the Slam goes — say, your eggs and bacon, ham or sausage. The base has individual compartments so nothing touches. Detroit needs to use this idea for the back seats of its cars, so kids don't get into fights and Dad doesn't have to pull over to stop the squabbling.
The next level is called the insert plate. It fits tightly over the base, sealing in the bacon and eggs' heat. The insert plate is for your pancakes, French toast, muffins and biscuits. The moisture of the eggs stays where it belongs and doesn't make the pancakes soggy. The lid is clear, so the cook can double-check your order without making the food cold.
All three levels are ingeniously vented so your car smells extra delicious by the time you get to work. And the levels connect securely, no leaking, so that aroma isn't permanent.
Ken Hoffman's syndicated column appears Wednesdays.
