The Disney Channel was showing "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" the other day. (At our house, it's either nonstop Disney Channel or nonstop baseball.)
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Naturally I had to watch. I love the film. I'm always moved by the Pevensie children's first meeting with Aslan the lion, the Christ figure — imagining what it's going to be like to see Jesus one day — and, of course, by Aslan's death and resurrection. But this time, a different scene brought me up short.
Aslan and Peter Pevensie are looking toward Cair Paravel, the castle from which Aslan says the Pevensies will rule Narnia. Peter, the oldest, is hesitant.
"I'm not who you think I am," he finally blurts out.
Peter, my friend, I can SO identify.
Aslan sees Peter as the future High King of Narnia, Aslan's regent. Peter sees himself as a failed elder brother whose thoughtless handling of younger sibling Edmund led to Edmund's treachery with the White Witch.
The Bible tells me that Jesus sees me as his friend, and that through my relationship with him, his Father sees me as his beloved child.
I see myself as … less than that.
Failed and flawed. Still far, far short of the standards Jesus set. Too attached to creature comforts and my own way. Too afraid to fully trust Jesus, to get out of the boat and walk on the water with him, as the disciple Peter did in Matthew 14.
Perhaps the problem is that I'm not seeing the scene through the lens Jesus uses.
When I evaluate myself, I'm looking through a telephoto lens. I see all my warts in close-up, living color.
Jesus, I think, sees not only through a telephoto but through a wide-angle lens. He's got the big picture. In some way, he sees me not just as I am, but as I will be. He sees the end as well as the beginning.
Maybe that's what C.S. Lewis, the author of the Narnia books, was trying to tell us. Yes, Peter was right. He did make mistakes with Edmund. He wasn't the fearless and wise High King. Yet.
Ultimately, Aslan was right. Peter would indeed grow into the role Aslan had planned for him.
That other Peter — the disciple Simon Peter — had a similar experience. (Gee, do you think Lewis was drawing a parallel with his character's name?)
In the Gospels, Simon was a blunt fisherman, the poster child for poor impulse control, the guy with chronic foot-in-mouth disease, the disciple who cut and ran rather than walk with his master to the cross.
But Jesus christened him Peter, the rock, and commissioned him in John 21 to "feed my sheep." Peter indeed became the rock of the early church, the faithful disciple who later did follow Jesus to Peter's own cross in Rome.
Jesus saw Peter for who he would be, not who he was.
Do you see yourself through that telephoto lens? Do you see the warts and the flaws and wonder what in the world Jesus must be thinking to call you his friend? I suspect a lot of Christians feel that way. We know we are forgiven and saved by grace, but we know our continuing susceptibility to sin all too well. We don't feel worthy of Jesus' friendship.
Truth is, we never will be worthy through our own efforts. But that doesn't stop Jesus from loving us anyway.
Maybe instead of kicking ourselves for our failures, we need to start seeing ourselves through Jesus' eyes, and to be confident that no matter how imperfect we are now, Jesus won't stop until he makes us what he intends us to be.
Lewis said it so well in his masterpiece "Mere Christianity":
"Each time you fall he will pick you up again. And he knows perfectly well that your own efforts are never going to bring you anywhere near perfection. On the other hand, you must realize from the outset that the goal towards which he is beginning to guide you is absolute perfection; and no power in the whole universe, except you yourself, can prevent him from taking you to that goal."
We can be who he thinks we are. And will be.
Helen Colwell Adams is a Sunday News staff writer. She is also the pastor of Stehman Memorial United Methodist Church in Manor Township. Contact her at 291-4962 or hcolwell@lnpnews.com.
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